HOW CAN I FORGET
by girlmoustakis
Summary: This is my experience with dementia. It is auto-biographical.


HOW CAN I FORGET

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** when I met your father? I was living in a boarding house. He came to pick up his girlfriend for a date. She was being a bitch and made him wait. So, I made him coffee and we talked. She came and they left. The next day he came back and asked me to marry him. I said YES. We were married six months later.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** the day you were born? My father was so proud. Your father named you after his mother.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** having to leave our home because of a civil war? We spent a year in Greece till America let us in.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** your first day of kindergarten? I brought you and another woman brought you back home. Her son was in the same class. He would hold your hand and talk to you as you walked. You didn't understand a word because you didn't speak English. He was your kindergarten sweetheart.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** our first apartment? There was an obnoxious downstairs neighbor. She was the one who taught you English. She would always come upstairs to watch Ed Sullivan with us. One night she and you screamed and cried over The Beatles. She screamed and loved John. You cried and loved Paul. Your father and I just looked at you and were very confused. You two went to Beatle mania together. There is one picture with the two of you. You were holding a Beatles album. It was A HARD DAY'S NIGHT.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** when you and your father discovered bowling? It was summer and we had no air-conditioning. The bowling alley and ice cream shop were the only two places in the neighborhood that had it. We finally got air but you two kept bowling. You became league players. And you became very good. You even got a trophy.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** when I went to a pet shop and found your sweetheart's mother behind the counter? She recognized me and gave me their phone number. She said her son never stopped talking about you. You called him and you began dating. He took you to your prom. You looked so beautiful when he was putting the corsage on your long blue dress.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** your prom picnic? You went to Windsor, Canada. You were so late we thought you had eloped. Only you two would go to Canada just to have an hour lunch.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** when you went to Junior college? The neighbor girl went there first. It was mostly black and you became a member of the CONCERNED BLACK STUDENTS. You started wearing dyed overalls and starting speaking in a language we didn't understand. You didn't become white again until you transferred to university.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** how we lost your father? You were getting ready to go to school when he had his heart attack. You got him dressed and called the paramedics. They took him to the hospital. He died two days later. It was a broken heart. He was a proud man and his heart broke when they made him retire. On his death bed he said to you in French BE GOOD FRIENDS. We did. We became roommates.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** when the family took over the funeral and wake? They hired ten MALE professional mourners. Women were not allowed. You became so angry your friend took you out of the house before you killed someone. You chose to find solace with your new friends instead of me. I never told you but that hurt.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** when you graduated university? I was so proud of you. You were ready for the rest of the world. You also became the main financial supporter.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** how we traveled after? We went to Disneyworld twice and Las Vegas three times. We had fun. We also went to Beatles fest and Doctor Who conventions. I enjoyed the hotel while you hung out with your two groups of friends. It felt nice to be pampered.

Life went on for many years. We were always together. We became the good friends your father wanted us to be. Then I became sick. It was dementia and breast cancer. You stuck it out with me. The cancer was taken care of but the dementia was would always be there. You sacrificed your social life to take care of me. You became a care-giver.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** when you finally introduced me to your future husband? You two met on . I was glad when he moved in. You and I couldn't cook so when he was wasn't working we had home cooked meals. He was a good cook. He asked you to marry him and you said yes. You knew him only for six months and you did the same thing I did. It's funny how life repeats itself.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** when I had a violent dementia attack the week before your wedding? I tried to kill the bird and he called 911. They put me in a special hospital until you could find me a home. You put me in a nursing home. You couldn't take care of me anymore. The week of your wedding you couldn't be a bridezilla. You had to put me away.

 **HOW CAN I FORGET** when I lost the ability to verbally communicate? What came out of my mouth was a combination of English, French, Italian and gibberish. I could see your frustration trying to talk to me. I was frustrated too. You and your husband brought your pet parrot. The bird was friendly and it brought me out of my dementia. This worked for a while but when it stopped you stopped bringing the bird. The last time I saw you brought a video of your wedding. I finally saw my little girl get married. I cried. It was the only way left I could communicate. I died in my sleep three weeks later.

It was too late to tell you how I felt. I know you were glad I passed when I did. I still had my memory left. I felt the same way too. That is probably why I chose to go when I did. I waited until I saw my little girl get married. I never got the chance to ask WHO ARE YOU or WHO AM I. I was still there.

I may not be physically there now but I want you to know, and I'm sure you already do, I NEVER forgot my little girl. You will always be my daughter. You will always be in my head and my heart. I still see you where I am now. I'm fine. My mind is good. My heart is free. I am with your father.

One more thing I have to say. I will never have to say the words **HOW CAN I FORGET** , for I never did. I can never forget our lives together and the people we touched. I will never forget US.


End file.
